Life

Have made a hard decision.

I have a friend don't talk to me now. When I call, she doesn't answer or call back. When I text (I don't usually text, I love hearing the voice of my friends. When I text, just because I have no other ways to make a direct contact), she doesn't reply. When I see her and give her a hug, she acts normal, but when I ask how she is doing, all she says is her phone is broken (dump excuse!) and would get a new one soon and give me a call then. When I talk to her online, she goes offline. She was my high school classmate and in these two years, whenever we have a reunion, if I was there, she wouldn't come. If I wasn't there, she would be there. I thought it was a coincidence, but now I can hardly believe it is the case.

I wouldn't forget when I lost my best friend 5 years ago, she was the only one to lend me a shoulder to cry on and passed me the tissues, and said whenever I need a friend to talk to, she was always there. But now...

I love her so much but I feel really uncomfortable to call someone who even doesn't want to talk to me as "friends", she added me on the list first. I was not there for adding a number on people's "friend list" to show off. I sent fer a message on the site and got no reply.

I know it must be me when this happens to me twice. But I can't figure the reasons out when they don't tell me. Why can't you just be up front to tell me the truth? Why you have to pretend to be friendly when we see each other?

It's a really hard decision but it is what I feel right now.

Weeks ago a salesman showed me his mobile phone. He unzipped his bag, unzipped one of the pocket, and took out the phone covered by a handkerchief! "It's very expensive!"he said...

Where do you put your mobile phone when you're out...?

On theory communication is getting easier today. We have mobile phone that allows us to call or text people whenever we want. We have instant message that we can chat with friends whenever we are on the computer. We have social networking sites that let us keep contact with everyone we know. I remember how said I was when my best friend moved out of the town 15 years ago. Such technologies haven't get into my life at that time and we couldn't contact each other anymore.

I thought it's really great when I first came across the social networking sites and I met some of my childhood friends who I lost contact there. But few months past, I realized it was only my dream that technology can solve this problem.

How many of your contacts on your mobile phones, IM, and SNS really contact you? Those people I met again after 10 years barely talk after a greet when I first saw them. I suddenly realize it's the same, with or without such things.

Maybe when people are eager to keep in touch, difficulties don't really matter. When you don't care, you just don't no matter how easy it can be.

Do you think we have freedom?

Most people think comparing with some Middle-East or Muslim countries (no offense here), we have much more freedom. I just have the thought of the opposite.

For example, I saw some Middle-East high school girls wore trousers under their dress uniform. I knew the girls were no allowed to wear dress or skirt only. They don't have the freedom to wear dress or skirt but how about me? All the students need to wear uniform in my high school which is a dress for girls. No one did that before but I'm quite sure I was not allowed to wear trousers under the dress unless I could offer medical or religious proof.

In this perspective, we all don't have freedom or we don't have more freedom, we just have different culture or life style.

I wonder if I'm paranoid.

That day I saw a little girl using a computer at my department. Those computers are supposed to be used by students or staff of our department only. The computers require a login account in order to use them so I thought this little girl was one of the students' private tutorial student and was being asked to do some work there. I wanted to use a computer and all other computers were occupied. Many teaching staff came across but no one tried to stop her. I had a thought on "scared" her away but didn't bother.

I saw she was writing an email and I was curious about who would exchange emails with a little girl. I remembered when I was at her age, I even didn't know what an email was. So I walked closer to her and tried to have a glaze on what she was writing. After I'd figured out the first few sentences she had written, an associate professor appeared. He put his arms around this girl that looked like I was going to do anything would harm her. Then I recalled this girl was his daughter who I've seen before. His brought her away soon.

The thing is, the associate professor taught me information security and ethics before. He really disappointed me. Obviously, he lent his account to his daughter to use our computers. Did he think it's absolutely good for security or ethical? I can't remember how many times he said employee are not supposed to use work place's computers for private purpose and this act is misusing bandwidth which is paid by the company, so it is unethical!

Maybe I'm just paranoid but it really annoys me!

Maybe I should not say anything that contains an instruction. How come everything I say at such situation are all wrong? I never intend to mislead anyone and I am quite confident about my thought when I give people instructions. But they just turn out like that.

Almost every time I give instruction about direction is wrong. I pointed the wrong direction even on a map. Once a man asked me where a classroom is at my college, and I said, "we don't have a classroom named this." That was my second year at that college and just a few minutes later, I saw a big instruction to that classroom written on the wall.

Today in a lift at a shopping mall, I stood in front of the buttons and there was a men told me he wanted to go to the second floor. We finally found that lift could not reach that floor but it was to late to get out of the lift. He looked so confused so I told him not to use other lifts but the escalator. When I was in another lift to leave that shopping mall, I found that lift could reach the second floor. The point is, I've been that shopping mall more than five times in these two months, but now I am not sure the escalator can reach the second floor!

I'm so sorry about that, please forgive me and don't hate me.

Maybe I should not say anything in such situations anymore.

Hope the escalator can bring him to the second floor. I'm going to check this next time. Anyway, he probably has found the lift there and thinks I am a bad person. So sorry, I just wanted to help you out.

I've just found it's a mental illness.

I don't know when did it start, I hate taking photos. I turn around my face whenever I see a camera. I didn't take back the photos which were taken on the school photo days. I didn't even have my graduation photo. I never get back any photos I take with my friends since the digital cameras are used (They just send the photos back to me or upload to the internet to let me download them).

I hate when I see my photos were on the internet that almost everyone can see them. I try my best to ask people to delete them or stop posting, but it still happens. When social networking sites and online photo albums are get more and more popular, I found my photos that were taken ages ago were on the internet recently. Honestly, I've thought my photos would end up like that when they were taken.

You know, sometimes you just take some stupid photos under pressure. I hate when my photos can be seen by the whole world, I hate when people can easily know what you've done, you've been by looking at the pictures, although I know most people have no interest to my photos.

Why would some people let the whole world to see their pictures? If you like, it's all your business and had nothing to do with me, why can't you just upload your own photos or ask for others' permission in advance? How difficult can do some privacy setting on your pages be? The law just said, photos taken personally are not expected to be publicize. After all, it's something call "privacy".

And can you avoid taking photos? Probably not. And can you avoid keeping all your photos privately? How can you refuse when your company post your photos at the office or campany site?

When it became illness when you concern about your privacy?

Life was a lot simpler when internet is not that common.

Recently, I've browsed many mobile network provider's websites of many countries to illustrate what's the cost difference between those countries.

I've found nearly all the mobile service providers have a plan of unlimited texts, some are limited to intra-network and some can text inter-network.

It is a good idea to have unlimited texts if you text quite a lot. But do we really need to text so much?

It's like having a meal. You enjoy one or two dishes and appreciate the cook if you pay for every dish. You eat as much as you can when it comes to a buffet and sometimes you don't even know what you've put into your mouth.

Maybe it's a nice idea to text whenever you want and don't need to care about the fees, but I also like the feeling that I cherish every text I send. I make sure I don't send any rubbish and every text I receive is precious.

Think about it, do you feel difference if people text you because it's free and people text you even every text costs them?

I've decided to finish it.

Not that bad. No tears, no crying, just a little bit down.

Maybe I should make this decision earlier, but it's also a good time.

I've said what I want to say. I wanted to write it here but that's good that finally I've told you directly. No regrets.

They are typical stories like the one between Brad, Jennifer and Angelina that happen all the time, a woman in love with a man but turns out he is taken.

Why people always blame the woman when the man is the first one to flirt?
Why blame the woman when the man is the one who show the interest first?
Why blame the woman when the man is the one who is taken but not the woman?
Why the woman has the responsibility to stay away from a man when they have the feeling mutually and she is single?